So now that Notre Dame’s season is effectively over after just four short weeks of “football,” I’m faced with a bit of a predicament.  At this point, the Irish are in a full tailspin with no sign of a turnaround anytime soon (Thanks, Obama).  I’m a devoted Notre Dame fan and I’m going to watch the rest of the games for some inexplicable masochistic reason, but I would prefer to be drunk and happy during the game rather than drunk and swearing at my TV in between fits of sobbing into a basket of hot wings.  Being drunk is happening either way.  (11 a.m. game but it’s not drinking all day if you don’t start in the morning).

Since I’m going to be watching the rest of the games anyway, the question that I have been pondering for the last few days is: how can I make this at least somewhat enjoyable?  So I got to thinking.  Everybody likes games, that’s why you’re watching in the first place.  But the play of the Irish this season could hardly be called a football game.  What else do people like? Alcohol.  Since everybody likes games and alcohol, I wondered…what if I put them together!?  I decided to do just that and create a totally original idea that nobody has ever thought of or created until just now.  I call it…a drinking game.  Very creative, I know.

So here’s how it works.  Whenever a certain event occurs during the football game, you must drink a predetermined amount of a predetermined type of alcohol.  The tricky part is trying to balance out the likelihood of the event with the amount/type of alcohol to ensure a nice drunk without dying.  Also creating a nice balance between celebration and punishment drinks.  So here’s what I came up with for the Notre Dame – Syracuse (and other future opponents) drinking game:

One Drink of Beer

  • Kizer completes a pass
  • Every Irish first down
  • Kizer is sacked or an Irish player is tackled for a loss
  • Irish punt
  • Irish record a tackle for loss
  • Justin Yoon makes a field goal (or extra point)
  • The Irish fumble but recover the ball
  • Syracuse scores (touchdown or field goal)

 

Finish Your Beer

  • Notre Dame scores a touchdown
  • Justin Yoon misses a field goal (or extra point)
  • The Irish force a punt (because that rarely happens)
  • Kizer throws an interception
  • Halftime

 

Take a Shot

  • The Irish fumble the ball and turn it over
  • The Irish get a sack (because that NEVER happens)
  • Syracuse runs a kickoff or punt back for a touchdown
  • Anybody converts a 2 pt. conversion
  • The beginning of overtime if it happens

 

Special Rule

  • If the Irish get an interception, chug your beer from the time the defender catches the ball until he is tackled

 

So hopefully this will at least give you something else to focus on besides just the “football” game itself.  I may have gone a little overboard but oh well, I’ll let you all be the judges of that.  If you play your cards right, it could make you forget the whole game altogether!  Make your own changes as necessary, but make sure you have enough beer and liquor, go Irish, and let’s all drink like a champion on Saturday!