Everyone who doesn’t live under a rock has heard about the Trump campaign’s response to the media photos comparing Trump’s inauguration crowd to Obama’s. They stated that the White House presented ‘alternative facts’ which essentially made a mediocre inauguration appear bigger and better than it was.

Well, in the spirit of the theme, ‘alternative facts’, I will be putting together short news bits depicting some alternative facts throughout America. These facts may seem believable, but they are all untrue, alternative facts.

Rural Kansas Family Thinks They Saw A Tornado

This Tuesday, the well-bred and corn-fed Thompson family may or may not have seen a tornado. After working in the fields all day, Billy (the 6th oldest of the 13 Thompson offspring) said, “it sure got windy”. His younger sister, Bernice, agreed with Billy saying, “yeah, when I went to the outhouse before dinner I surely felt a blow of wind”. The family also noticed that their local county flag was blowing faster than usual. Around 4:35, the father of the family, Charlie Thompson, said, “it sure is cloudy, I better bring the dog inside”. According to 13 year old, Gunther, “there’s been like 35 tornados this year. Wouldn’t be surprised if we’re ’bout to see another”. Nobody knows if the Thompsons actually witnessed a tornado, but it sure sounds probable. As we were leaving Charlie Thompson shouted out to us, “see the birds! The birds are going! We’re ‘bout to have a bad one”.

We wish the best to the Thompson family in this time of danger.

Will Grundy, from the Herald-News

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