Well US soccer fans, it happened. The Men’s National team failed to qualify for the World Cup. There are so many unanswered questions all around, primarily “Who do I cheer for now?” Look no further than team Greece. I know… I know… the wound is way too fresh, but hear me out. The following are a few reasons to cheer on your favorite ancient civilization.

The Best Offense is a Good Defense

As we learned in the Battle of Thermopylae in 480 BC there is nothing quite like a good defense. A group of 300 or so scraggly Greeks took on the most feared Persian army in the world using defensive tactics. Fast forward 2500 years we see their descendants are still at it. This Greek team is more than willing to sit on a 0-0 scoreline until the game is over if an offensive opportunity does not present itself. Most of their matches end tied 0-0 or 1-0. This may seem a bit boring but my next point illustrates why this a positive.

They play the most F-U type of soccer out there. 

As the previous point eludes to the Greek soccer team is like the anti-soccer team. US fans are obviously upset with the recent outcomes. What better way to show displeasure than to cheer on the team that pisses the rest of the world off with their style of play. Greek defenders drive the rest of Europe crazy with precise defense and tactical passing until they catch the opponent snoozing. In the 60th minute when a high powered offensive team has 3 shots on goal frustration kicks in and the Greeks often capitalize.

They are always the underdog

In 2004 the Greek national team qualified for its first EURO ever coming in with a 250-1 odds of winning. What did they do? They picked apart vastly superior opponents with their “boring” defensive prowess and won the whole damn thing. Nothing sexy about it, just hard-nosed sound play and a lot of confused European fans. This year ESPN gives them less than a 25% chance to qualify for the World Cup out of the Euro Playoff Stage. “Good odds for any Greek.”

Just Look at Them

Close your eyes and imagine what you believe a Greek soccer player would look like. Ok open ’em and compare them to the current player on the roster. Yes, he looks just like the waiter at the last Greek restaurant you went to and they are probably best friends.

 

I know this advice does not make any US fans feel better and it never will. But take hope in the fact that there is a team out there that can and will muck up the World Cup for everyone else too.

ζητω η ελλαδα!

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