You hear that? That is the collective sigh of relief of every American at once when they heard the news. While we may be on the brink of nuclear war with North Korea thanks to Donny Twitterfingers and everyone in Hollywood is a diddler, everyone knows that LiAngelo Ball’s safety and the subsequent footage for Ball In The Family is priority #1. One thing is for sure though, this was 100% orchestrated by the mastermind, lunatic, entrepreneur, dad who has to watch his kids’ games from outside the gym door Lavar Ball. Lavar took a page right out of the Kardashian playbook on this one and everyone needs to stay woke.

How do you instantly create a ton of buzz and headlines for your brand/family? A classic conflict that has attention-grabbing headlines worldwide. Nobody knows who the Kardashians are and couldn’t care less about their family? Boom, sex tape in your face. Been doing the same show about a family with no talent for 10 years? Boom, every daughter is having a kid at the same time. Not only have they done it for 10 years already, but they are bringing in the next generation for a thousand more years to come. The cycle will never end, and the Balls are hopping on the movement. Now I will give them credit because it was ballsy to try to steal in China. I haven’t actually looked into this, but I am almost certain they can murder you on the spot without any questions. Luckily, Trump informed the President of China that the Balls are greatest basketball family in the world, I mean the hugest in the world like it doesn’t get any huger and I know huge, and they have to let them go. Bravo to you Ball family for trolling the entire world, but I’m onto you. Bravo, that you will eventually be trillionaires on Bravo.