Author: bighank99

Meet Cairo Santos, Your Newest Chicago Bear

The Connor Barth era in Chicago is officially OVA. It really is a shame the Bears didn’t bounce this washed up schmuck sooner because he absolutely blew it last weekend against the Lions. Mitch set the Bears up for the late field goal to send it into overtime but Barth, a confirmed Gilmore Girls fan, shanked it 90 yards right. Despite the fact that the Bears probably would have lost in OT, Barth is still dead to the city of Chicago. Monday morning the Bears finally bounced Barth and signed the fiery young Brazilian, Cairo Santos. This is the...

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Diggerland Theme Park: Heaven on Earth

Diggerland Theme Park Lets Kids Play With Heavy Machinery Pinch me damnit, I HAVE to be dreaming. This new theme park looks INSANELY awesome. I’ve always wanted to give my go at driving a dump truck into a wall or slamming a crane into inanimate objects and this place gives you just that. Diggerland is a new amusement park in New Jersey that lets folks play around with heavy machinery. The site says that the machinery is toned down to make safe for even kids to use, but I’m sure you can still find ways screw around a little...

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List of the Best Ogres and Dwarfs

In honor of the Astros vs. Yankees ALCS matchup and the inevitable Aaron Judge-Jose Altuve comparisons, I’m putting together a list of the best big guy-little guy combos in every major sport. Always remember friends, whether you’re pushing 5 ft 5 and have drawn comparisons to Oompa-Loompa Timmy your whole life or you’re 350 and none of your belts fit, you are all God’s children and Jesus loves you. NFL 5 ft 6, 190 lbs Darren Sproles and 6 ft 4, 340 lbs Marcus Peters.  Ted Washington and well, just about anybody. Back in his playing days, Big Ted was...

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SportsCenter Anchors Ruining Mornings – American Workforce Furious

Step in to your crazy uncle’s time machine and teleport back to, let’s say, 2003. I was ten years old, watched SportsCenter every morning before school, and absolutely LOVED it. It was a fast paced program that showed short highlights of EVERY sporting event that occurred the day before. The anchors were funny as hell, engaging, and always found something interesting to comment on – even for bottom of the barrel matchups like the the Tigers (43-119) vs. the Rays (63-99). The “Top Ten Plays” segment was absolutely electric. Hell, I would fake sick and just sit around rewatching...

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Why the Bears will shock the world vs. the over hyped, Hard Knocks Featured Bucs

The Bears were one catch away from upsetting the former NFC champs last weekend at Soldier Field. Murdering Mike Glennon led the boys to the promised land, but they just couldn’t capitalize. Sure, the Bears offense looked brutal most of the day, but there were some bright spots. Tarik “Could he go all the way” Cohen led the Bears in both rushing and receiving. Their defense bottled up the high powered Falcons offense for most of the day. And of course, Murdering Mike put them in a spot to win the game. The sole reason the Atlanta Birds of...

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“Expert” Fantasy Football Draft Recap

Howdy folks. The fantasy experts over at the premier sports blogging site, LMBF, had their fantasy football draft last week. I’m here to give you a brief draft recap. For the first 14 rounds I will give you the best pick and the biggest reach. The biggest reach is a nice way to say the worst pick. It is a 10 team league, .5 points per reception, with 1 QB, 2 WRs, 2 RBs, 1 TE, 1 Flex, 1 D/ST, and 1 Kicker. See the full draft below. LMBF Draft Round One Best Pick – (1) RB, David Johnson by...

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NL Central Playoff Race

With only 6 weeks left in the 2017 season, the MLB playoffs are fast approaching. Much to everyone’s surprise, the NL Central playoff race looks like it could come down to the wire. The defending champion Chicago Cubs have not successfully distanced themselves from the competition. Any time it seems like they’re about to heat up and start playing like their former selves they get shut out and lose a series to a sub par ball club. As a Cubs fan it has been an agonizing experience. The Cubs currently have a 1.5 game lead in the division, with...

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Butler Basketball Preview Part 2 – Starting Lineup

Butler basketball’s 2016-17 starting lineup consisted of Tyler Wideman as the center, Andrew Chrabascz at power forward, Kelan Martin at small forward (for most of the year), and the guards were a combination of Kethan Savage, Kamar Baldwin, Avery Woodson, and Tyler Lewis. The Dawgs were solid last year. They finished 23-8, good for second in the big east. They were ranked in the top 25 the entire season, upset perennial powerhouse Villanova TWICE, and made a strong run in the NCAA tourney before being ousted by eventual champion, North Carolina. Several Butler players were also awarded individual accolades...

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Is Kyle Schwarber Back?

The Cubs young slugger Kyle Schwarber has been mashing the ball ever since his demoralizing trip down to Triple A Iowa. In lieu of Schwarber’s success at the plate, the Cubs have been killing it as well. They are 11-2 since the All Star Break, catapulting into first place in the NL Central. Schwarber is batting .280 since his return. Sure it’s not THAT high, but considering he was batting only around a buck seventy five beforehand, it’s an improvement. Kyle Schwarber in 15 games since returning from Iowa (57 PA):.280/.368/.680, 5 HR, 8 RBI #Cubs — Christopher Kamka...

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Butler Basketball Preview Part 1 – Meet the New Dawgs

The Butler Bulldogs finished 23-8, good for 2nd in the Big East. They were knocked out in the sweet sixteen by national champs North Carolina. The Dawgs had a hectic off season, losing head coach Chris Holtmann to Ohio State as well as three assistants. Unfortunately, Butler’s top recruit left with Holtmann as well. He will be referred to as “Benedict Arnold” and we don’t talk about him anymore. The Dawgs also lost a couple of starters and impact role players to graduation. Andrew Chrabascz, Tyler Lewis, Kethan Savage, and Avery Woodson all decided to finish up school and...

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