Category: Football

Meet Cairo Santos, Your Newest Chicago Bear

The Connor Barth era in Chicago is officially OVA. It really is a shame the Bears didn’t bounce this washed up schmuck sooner because he absolutely blew it last weekend against the Lions. Mitch set the Bears up for the late field goal to send it into overtime but Barth, a confirmed Gilmore Girls fan, shanked it 90 yards right. Despite the fact that the Bears probably would have lost in OT, Barth is still dead to the city of Chicago. Monday morning the Bears finally bounced Barth and signed the fiery young Brazilian, Cairo Santos. This is the...

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Ravens-Packers Recap: Win And You’re In

The Ravens improved to 5-5 on the season and moved into the #6 AFC playoff seed by pantsing the Packers in Lambeau 23-0. First, I have to start off by thanking Brett Hundley for being the Ravens best quarterback in Lambeau. He hit our guys with perfectly placed passes right in the numbers so they could be sure to maximize YAC just like you preach every day in practice. While he did not play his best game on Sunday, it is hard to hold him completely at fault since he was under siege the entire game. The Ravens had...

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Brett Hundley is the Chicago Bears’ Daddy

What a year, another 2-0 year for the Pack. We may have had a 3 game losing streak, we may have a quarterback who can’t lead a team, we may have played with a bunch of replacement players but the world continues to spin the same. The Packers are on top again. Brett Hundley is the Chicago Bears Daddy! Incompetence and all he lead our deadass Packers to another important 2-0 season. I mean I throughly hope we go back to losing games now that we got our wins over the Bears, gotta get those draft picks baby. Love...

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Jimmy Garoppolo Trade Should Have Bears Fans Upset

You didn’t hear it here first, but you certainly heard it by now. Handsome Jimmy G is on his way to the San Francisco for a mere 2nd round pick. John Lynch has shown to be a masterful GM thus far, exceeding the skills of Ryan Pace not once but twice. Although the Bears were not directly involved in this trade between the 49’ers and the Pats, they are certainly feeling the sting of a missed opportunity. The Misinformation Campaign That Never Was At the end of the 2016 seasons, it was very clear to Bears fans that a new...

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List of the Best Ogres and Dwarfs

In honor of the Astros vs. Yankees ALCS matchup and the inevitable Aaron Judge-Jose Altuve comparisons, I’m putting together a list of the best big guy-little guy combos in every major sport. Always remember friends, whether you’re pushing 5 ft 5 and have drawn comparisons to Oompa-Loompa Timmy your whole life or you’re 350 and none of your belts fit, you are all God’s children and Jesus loves you. NFL 5 ft 6, 190 lbs Darren Sproles and 6 ft 4, 340 lbs Marcus Peters.  Ted Washington and well, just about anybody. Back in his playing days, Big Ted was...

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