Extreme Rules Don’t You Dare Be Sour!

Most WWE fans can agree that this year’s Wrestlemania was nothing short of utter disappointment. The fact that my favorite moment involved shouting “Woo Woo Woo” at the TV is evidence enough that it was a total flop. Most of us tuned into Payback begrudgingly but were pleasantly surprised. The matches were overall decent and were a step in the right direction. Not to mention the Chicago fans were ruthless to Roman Reigns prompting a lash out against the crowd in the middle of the ring. If this upward trend continues we could possible see more improvement at Extreme Rules.  This is optimistic thinking of course, the WWE never fails to be extremely predictable and frustrating.  Here are my predictions for the upcoming PPV.

Intercontinental Fatal Four-way

  • Cesaro, Kevin Owens, Sami Zayn, The Miz

This is clearly the Miz’s belt to lose given the storylines that surround it. The Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens rivalry is heating up and Cesaro is returning to his robotic superhero form. With that being said there are is a predictable nature to this match. It is a given that Kevin Owens will: 1. Look even more out of shape (if that was possible) 2. Yell 5th grade bully insults at the announcers 3. Dominate the first part of the match until he takes his first hit and rolls out of the ring for a few minutes. Sami Zayn will have the edge over the others considering his overall skill level and his favor with the crowd. This of course is not always a recipe for success as we have seen time and time again with Roman Reigns.

Outcome prediction:

  • Cesaro will perform his badass Cesaro swing on the Miz while KO and Zayn duke it out. After the spin Owens and Cesaro will cancel each other out in an acrobatic way leaving an open pin for Sami Zayn.

owens zayn

Tag Team Title match

  • New Day v Vaudevillains

There is not really that much to say about this one. The New Day are the only crowd favorite that the WWE gets behind and rightfully so. They were initially hated and are now the backbone of the entire company. Xavier Woods can thank this entire gimmick for continuing his career and he has done a great job in his role. The Vaudevillains on the other hand got pretty lucky at Payback as a real injury gave them the title shot by default.

Outcome prediction:

  • Vaudevillains come out swinging and the announcers get on their knees. Many believe that Big E is the only talent of the three but in this match Kofi Kingston will deliver the finishing blow. What can I say? NEW DAY ROCKS! Please get these guys on an episode of Family Feud stat!

new day


Woman’s Match

No Rick Flair? No Paige?

Outcome and Prediction: Don’t care but Charlotte wins while I still wonder what mine and her kids would look like. (I know you’ve done it too)

United States Championship

  • Kalisto v Rusev

So I know we all expect Kalisto to take this one in the most Rey Mysterio type way. Fuck that. This is finally the time the big guy wins. You cannot possibly justify that slightly above average high flyer taking out Del Rio, Ryback AND, Rusev. Rusev has a lot of talent and a decent gimmick so giving him the bronze medal belt is not the worst move for business.

Outcome and prediction:

  • Rusev comes out strong and squashes Kalisto. Mid match the tides will turn and the high flying and the kicks will be plentiful. That’s all fine and dandy but this time Kalisto is going through the announcing table. (Hopefuly injuring Saxton in the process)
  • Winner: Rusev

World Heavyweight Champions match

AJ Styles v. Roman Reigns

The story line here seems to lean towards a heel turn for Reigns which is what the fans seem to want. AJ Styles has hinted at beating Reigns the old fashioned way without using weapons. This is extreme rules so if he is not going to use them, Reigns certainly will. In fact Reigns will overdo it causing the remaining few of his fans to vomit ever so slightly in their own 9-11 year old mouths.

Outcome and Prediction:

Reigns is ruthless in his use of the chairs and kendo sticks. The ring bell will also be used at some point. Just when you think the massacre is complete you notice that a chair is left in the middle of the ring. After an exhausted reversal, a perfectly executed Styles Clash is performed on top of the chair assuring a Styles victory! Don’t get too excited Styles fans as the belt is going back to Reigns on Monday Night Raw.

AJ STyles


Nick Anton

The next Paul Heyman if Law School works out.

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