Jay Cutler—The One Thing I HATE About Chicago Sports

The Worst Franchise Player in All of Sports

January 2, 2014 is a day that will live in infamy for many years to come in Chicago sports history.  That day, the Chicago Bears signed an average quarterback and bottom of the barrel leader with an above average arm to a deal worth $18 million AAV over seven years with $54 million guaranteed.  That same day, I pledged I would never pay a dollar for any Bears merchandise until 2021.  But, I pledged even more than that.  I pledged that I would never pay a dollar for a Bears regular season ticket, even if they were en route to a playoff season.  As a matter of fact, I hate Jay Cutler so much that I think a preseason ticket should cost more than a regular season ticket because at least you don’t have to watch him for more than one drive.

In January of 2014, die hard Bears fans all over tried to justify the massive deal that would ink the 39-28 quarterback with one playoff appearance in five years.  For a while, I became so sick of hearing the chatter that I debated whether I should change my alliance to support my mother’s beloved NY Giants or to take my cousin from Upstate New York’s advice and jump on the Bills bandwagon.  Words cannot describe how badly I wish I jumped ship.  But, I wasn’t the type of Cubs fan to go out and buy a White Sox hat in 2005 and I think a seven year commitment to unbiased fantasy football decisions may be a good thing (I am a reigning champion, after all).

Seriously Chicago, wake up already.  Jay Cutler is a horrible quarterback.  It’s one thing when Jeff Dickerson deems his contract the worst in the NFL (http://www.espn.com/blog/nflnation/post/_/id/170131/jay-cutlers-contract-named-nfls-worst-qb-deal-from-teams-perspective), but you know the guy must really be a joke when even Forbes feels the need to weigh in (http://www.forbes.com/sites/vincentfrank/2015/06/09/is-jay-cutlers-contract-the-worst-in-the-nfl/#4e2d03593974).

Ok, I know a few of you reading this right now are loading up the rebuttals with how great he was this past year and that it was Robbie Gould’s fault or the defense’s fault or that the injuries cost the team a lot of wins.  Yes, you are correct in pointing out that Jay Cutler had a career high 92.3 rating and that his 21/11 TD/INT ratio was a lot better than just about anyone expected.  Yes, it would also be accurate to say that Robbie Gould may have been 2015’s big letdown when he missed big field goals in back-to-back games against the 49ers and Redskins.

But seriously Chicago, have you been watching the same quarterback that I have been for the seven years?  I’m convinced you haven’t.  I’m talking about the guy who looked like he was just having fun on the playground slinging balls over the middle to his main man Brandon Marshall for an absurdly disproportionate amount of his attempts.  I’m talking about the guy whose trademark line is DOOOONNNN’TTTT CAAAARRRREEEE (http://www.thesportsbank.net/nfl/jay-cutler-dont-care-520/).

So, I don’t want to hear another word out of you until you actually dress in the Bears uniform for your first NFL game, Kevin White (http://www.cbssports.com/nfl/news/kevin-white-defends-jay-cutler-the-pretty-girl-that-doesnt-wear-makeup/).  Also, did he seriously just call his quarterback “The pretty girl who doesn’t wear makeup”?  I mean, how does White expect ANYONE to take him seriously when you say that about a grown man.

Now, I’m not crazy enough to take the Bennett brothers’ opinion any more seriously than I took White’s.  Citing Martellus or Michael Bennett as a character reference would be like putting your crazy aunt or uncle who always takes happy hour as a God given calling as your top character reference for your dream job—you just don’t do that.  But, reading their takes on Goodell and Cutler certainly was refreshing to see (http://www.nfl.com/news/story/0ap3000000679344/article/bennett-brothers-dont-hold-back-on-cutler-eli-watt).

Listen Chicago, if you want to call Jay Cutler a decent (maybe even good) player I’m not going to stop you.  He’s capable of throwing a long ball and his decision making is somehow not the worst in the NFL any more.  All I’m asking is that you please refrain from calling him a great quarterback and that you don’t ever dream of calling him a leader worthy of $18 million in AAV.

I’m not here to talk numbers, I have another website to do that for (sabiu.wordpress.com/author/stevenjcampbell95).  All I’m saying is, if I had to pick one guy to build my team around, Jay Cutler would probably be near the very bottom of the list.  But, that’s what you get for letting Phil Emery stick around too long and that’s another story for another day.

So whenever you hear me bashing the Bears, just know that my Bears hate contract expires in 2020 or whenever Pace finally decides Jay is too washed up to be under center.  Trust me when I say you will not find a more rejuvenated Bears fan whenever that day comes.  Until then, go Bills.


You may also like...

1 Response

  1. September 20, 2016

    […] I will be the first to admit that I should be the last one to attempt to speak objectively about the performance and character of Jay Cutler. I was ready to discount his above average performance in 2015 before he even took a single snap in the preseason this year My previous “I Hate Jay Cutler” Rant […]

%d bloggers like this: