Here we go again. Time for LeBron James to hold the entire Cleveland front office hostage with some passive aggressive demands. He got Tristan Thompson and J.R Smith re-signed, he got Kyle Korver, and now he wants Carmelo. While on the surface adding Carmelo and his max deal to your already reigning NBA Championship team seems unlikely/stupid, but LeBron wants it done, and I’m here to do it for him. Lets use ESPN’s NBA Trade Machine and throw out some silly ass hypotheticals.

The tweet above clearly indicates a third team would be needed, so all these trades will be three way deals between the Cavs, the Knicks and a third party.

The Pelicans

Starting with a weird one. Pelicans shed some salary in Asik, give the Knicks an expiring deal in Evans, Buddy Hield and their 1st rounder so they can actually rebuild. In return they get J.R and Thompson, give Anthony Davis some actual NBA talent to work with.

Chances this happens: 1%

The Timberwolves

This trade actually kinda makes sense. Problem is Cavs said no to Kevin Love for Melo straight up supposedly, so 3 way deals where they essentially swap Love for Melo are eh. But thats the only way to make this exercise fun. So, Cavs get Melo. Knicks take on Pekovic for 2 years but get Tyus and the Timberwolves probable lottery pick. T’Wolves get Love back, and commit to a future big 3 of Wiggins, Love and Towns. That would be fun.

Chance this happens: 1%

The Thunder

Nobody in the league deserves a star to play with than more than Russ. So we get him one, as Kevin Love joins Steven Adams and Enes Kanter on the OKC front line. Russ+Love pick and pops would be fun. Knicks in turn get Sabonis and Payne, some talent that matches Kristapas’ timeline, and the Thunder’s pick.

Chances this happens: 1%

The Celtics

So here’s the one that actually kinda adds up. The Celtics are dying to turn some of their assets into a star level player to join Thomas and Horford. So bring them Kevin Love. In turn, the Knicks get Jaylen Brown and Avery Bradley, two young players on nice contracts, and an expiring deal in Amir Johnson. Probably toss in the Celtics pick too. So the C’s get a big 3 and keep their future star coming from that Nets pick, and the Knicks get way younger and start a real rebuild. This could work.

Chances it happens: 5%? This is the only one that wouldn’t totally floor me.

Oh Fuck It

Fuck it, give LeBron both his pals. Lets just make this Cavs-Warriors series absolutely absurd. But if were making this trade were making it full on drunk. Just get weird as shit with it. 

LeBron gets his buddies

Knicks gets Thompson, take on Rondo and Niko’s bullshit for the King’s pick and the Bull’s pick

Bulls get Kevin Love and bring Shumpy and D-Rose home. Derrick can randomly visit home and still maybe not outright skip that nights game. I need P.J Rose back in my life. Its no fun with him in New York.

But Wait

Let’s do it! Get the whole band together! Super Friends!

Cavs get LBJ’s Big 3

Knicks get Kyrie and Frye. Kyrie’s game actually plays well with Porzingis. And now they have the cap room to get a 3rd superstar. What a revolution.

Bulls get Blake and Shump; a co-star whose game isn’t a direct overlap with Butler’s! Nice!

Clippers just say fuck it and blow up, get Kevin Love who they hopefully trade, Denzel, Liggins, the Kings 1st rounder (via Chi), the Knicks 1st rounder and whatever the Cavs can give up picks wise.

Craziest Trade you will ever see

 

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