Ahh, Fat Tuesday, or as I like to call it, Fat Guy Tuesday. Fat Guy Tuesday is the single greatest day of the year for fat guys and fat guy enthusiasts alike. It gives you an opportunity to absolutely gorge on any number of fatty foods. I like candy and sweets, but if you’re a salty guy you can go with chips, pretzels, pizza, or even some weird old lady snack like salted caramels. [Lockie] Brats and hot dogs are also widely acceptable, of course.

Many folks’ New Year’s Resolutions have to do with working out more or straight up losing weight. Well, mine is just the opposite. I am taking 2017 as an opportunity to gain, rather than lose weight #RoadTo250. I’m not actually trying to get up to the unwritten pinnacle that is 250 pounds, but I am trying to enjoy meals and to eat a lot when I am enjoying them. I have a test this evening, but the second I get done I’m going to promptly begin guzzling down beers, eating pasta and brats, and watching football highlights. Fat guys are usually football guys too so I am going to embrace this by watching some of the best hits, plays, and screw ups from the 2016 season.

I can’t write this blog without giving a direct shout out to my younger brother, Daniel. Daniel has been a big guy his whole life. He is the epitome of a big guy that knows he’s a big guy and embraces it day in and day out (I’m calling Dan big because I don’t want him to beat me up if I call him fat). Here are a few notes from prior Fat Guy Tuesdays that I wrote on behalf of Daniel:

Fat guy Tuesday is a day for us ‘skinny’ guys to be fat. To eat until we can’t. To get drunk and bloated and to burp and fart all night long. Be fat today. Eat more than you usually would. Eat worse than you normally would. The infamous 40 days of Lent begin tomorrow so we need to get all the gluttonous activities out of the way before God can condemn us to hell. Happy Fat Guy Tuesday everyone and remember, being fat is fun.

Here is a tribute to the greatest fat guy of all time, Chris Farley. RIP Chris.

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