Here’s a little context for such a gripping title

A tale as old as time. Brains versus brawn, mental versus muscle, Egypt’s top archaeologist against (one of) the best soccer player in the world. Zahi Hawass is the name of the archaeologist but you can just call him King of the Nerds. Apparently, he was giving a guided tour of the pyramids or the Sphinx or something and Messi was just not interested at all. None of the nearly 4000 year old amulets or haunted passages in King Tut’s tomb really did it for him. Personally, anything and everything occult is beyond fascinating but then again, Leo is kind of a pussy. Let’s not forget that this is the guy who quit playing for Argentina, his home land, because they lost against Germany in the World Cup Final. You know who never quit against a squad of superior Germans? Indiana Jones. Indiana Jones also would die to preserve historical objects, unless he’s stealing them from Mayan temples or, ya know, raiding things. That said, this match up may be too close to call. On one hand, you have Leo Messi who has more money than God, super handsome (not Ronaldo handsome but still), and is insanely athletic but doesn’t care about magic Egyptian scrolls or mummies and he plays a sport that Americans don’t care about. On the other, you have the greatest archaeologist in Egypt who undoubtedly is the country’s top bachelor (just kidding, he’s married to the job). This one may have to be settled by flipping the Pharaoh’s cursed coin that traps your soul if you lose. For Ra’s sake, let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.

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