Thought Train Thursday: If My Mom Can Beat Cancer, Mike Glennon Can Lead The Bears To The Playoffs4 min read

Thought Train Thursday: If My Mom Can Beat Cancer, Mike Glennon Can Lead The Bears To The Playoffs<span class="wtr-time-wrap after-title"><span class="wtr-time-number">4</span> min read</span>

Welcome to the latest edition of #ThoughtTrainThursday. Today I discuss NFL free agency (centered around the Bears signing Mike Glennon), how thankful I am to have a healthy mother and not be a Browns fan, an obscure sports statistic I’ve been obsessing over, and cybersecurity. Let’s get to it.

Lead with Creed 

This week, Creed Bratton edges out everyone’s favorite late 90’s/early 2000’s post-grunge rock band due to a timely development.

Mike Glennon IS THE NEW game MANAGER 

After days of speculation and discontent with yet another Chicago sports franchise’s front office, the Bears cut Jay Cutler and signed Mike Glennon. Though much of Bears faithful may say that the past couple days are just the latest in a dark spiral into despair, I could not be more excited for the future of the team. While they may have downgraded a QB, missed the best corner on the market, and let a top 10 (future) Super Bowl Champion receiver walk away, the Bears brought back their identity.

With “Hall of Fame” [Brian] Hoyer signing with the 49ers – who are really making a splash – the Bears also plan to draft a quarterback to be multi-million Mike’s back-up. This raises my suspicions, but I just hope it does not happen in the first three rounds. This supposed blasphemy tells me one thing: it is high time to return to the hard-nosed, ground-and-pound, NFC North style of football. The Bears have strayed away from what they have been historically known for in recent years, but this signing sets them back a decade. In this case, that’s a good thing.

Rex Grossman was the quarterback the last time the Bears made it to the Super Bowl, and all it will take for them to return with Mike Glennon at the helm is a historically-staunch defense! Though he’s being paid like it, long-neck Glennon is not the face of the franchise.


What better way to celebrate World Wildlife Day a week late than to guarantee an underwhelming creature $20 million? Everyone knows trends hit the Midwest later than elsewhere.

That title now unequivocally belongs to Jordan Howard. Though he is none too pleased with the goings-on within HIS team today, an offense sporting Mike Glennon under center will have to operate similar to the Chicago Bears of yesteryear. All Glennon has to do is hand the ball to the division’s best running back and not turn the ball over. If my mom can beat cancer (happy belated International Women’s Day, I love you!), Mike Glennon can beat the Packers once every other year or so. Wild card here we come!

At Least We’re Not Browns Fans 


I thought I spun the whole Mike Glennon thing pretty well, but this? Not even worth a try. I legitimately cannot remember the last time that the Cleveland Browns owning headlines was for good news. Sad!

Orange You Glad You’ve Made it This Far? 

Jim Boeheim’s Syracuse Orangemen dropped their first ACC Tournament matchup to Miami. In doing so, they jeopardized their chance at reaching the NCAA Tournament just one season after making an improbable Final Four run. Depending on which bracketology “expert” you hold most near and dear to your heart, Cuse still may make the field of 68. But what if they don’t? How many other teams have made it to the Final Four only to not qualify for the NCAA Tournament the next year?

The only team that comes to mind is George Mason. A few ultra-specific google searches came up short. I am all for reciting fun facts that come out of left-field, and I would love to add this bit of knowledge to my arsenal. Whether Syracuse goes dancing or not, I need the Elias Sports Bureau to come through for me now more than ever.

A Hawkish Hypothetical 

In light of the most recent WikiLeaks release detailing the CIA’s espionage, I came up with a cybersecurity-themed predicament: Would you rather have to introduce yourself to new people by handing them your unlocked cell phone, or be required to go through the password-reset process each time you logged into anything requiring a username and password? 



About The Author


I'm not a pessimist, I'm an optometrist.

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