This is what I had to say about LaVar Ball just a few short days ago.

I’m sure everyone has become extremely familiar with the name LaVar Ball. His son is a stud, but he’s really annoying and kinda stinks. To the general public that’s basically the 411 on our boy LaVar. Guy comes out and says he could beat Michael Jordan 1 on 1, is now public enemy number 1 for Charles Barkley, and he just continually comes out firing at anyone and everyone. Nobody is safe right now from LaVar and everybody hates him.  However, not everybody.

Today I’ve come forth to ask forgiveness for my sins. LaVar, if you’re reading this, I want to apologize. I am looking you right in the eyes at this very moment asking for your forgiveness. I put your name on the same pedestal with names like Goodell and Hitler. I jumped to conclusions about you, I let the general public impact my own opinion, and for that I am sorry. I’m all in on your son, and now I am all in on you. If you want a fourth son, I’m your guy. Nicholas James Ball, actually has a pretty good ring to it.

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. I repeat: The enemy of my enemy is my friend. Ever read the old ancient proverbs folks? The ones that talk about how two opposing parties can or should work together against a common enemy? Well, that time has come. You think that we partnered with Great Britain during World War II because we liked soccer and wanted some bangers, beans, and mash?! NO! We have football and chicken wings, didn’t want anything to do with that. We wanted their monster fleets and air force to shove it right in Adolf’s face. That’s what you do people. You find those who share the same vision, the same goal, and the same mentality as you, and then you join forces. That’s where LaVar comes in to play.

So if you want to go to war LaVar, you’re going to want an army. If you want to dance with the devil, you’re going to need a partner. That’s where I come in. Because there’s nobody in the world that’s going to grab his sword and fight with you against this guy harder than I will. I’ll leave Windhorst, McMenamin, and all the little critters to you, and you leave him to me. Talk is cheap, LaVar. If you want to do this, then just send the bat signal to the sky. Don’t let the big bad wolf intimidate you with his father of three garbage. It’s almost playoff time, #ZeroDarkThirty-TwentyThree time is upon us, and I’m ready to go. Roosevelt and Churchill did it for the betterment of their country, and so should we.

Surges and Ball, see you in your history textbook forty years from now.