Playing 7 consecutive games against an opponent is an absolute grind, and things tend to get chippy between teams in any hard fought series, and while that’s why us as fans love the playoffs, we can also get a little chippy with the small annoyances that come with watching the same matchup multiple times. After witnessing the blood bath that was game 1, I’ve already started to compile my list:

  1. KD’s hair

Is there a brush in this man’s house? This is just a complete lack of effort, at least LeBron is trying to do something about his follicle issues.

2. Any & all Steph Curry celebrations 

I have no idea what it is but I will hate every single dance move Steph busts out this series; it’s like seeing your father’s murderer do a jive on his grave and you can’t do anything about it.

3. Draymond Green’s mouth

He’s that kid in grade school that could literally never close his mouth, it’s physically impossible. His crusty ass top lip hasn’t felt the warm embrace of another in years.

4. Kevin Love & Kyle Korver’s dashing good looks

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swoons

How does one go from this, to that^ can anyone tell me? Kevin is fat shaming all of us if you ask me, through shedding the fat everyman persona and becoming an incredibly fit elitist athlete/model/attractive person.

5. Confetti dropping after every Warriors victory 

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In the most Silicon Valley move of all time, apparently Golden State likes to shower the big nerds they call fans with confetti after every home playoff win. This is the professional sports equivalent of a participation trophy. Win the series then you can shred 10,000 hundred dollar bills  and drop them from the rafters as a political statement because Elon Musk thinks paper money is a dated form of currency for all I care. I just cannot see Kevin Durant talk to Doris Burke about his execution in game 1 with yellow confetti getting stuck in that dead front lawn of a hairline.

 

Complaints will be added as needed. For now let me know if I missed anything.