GarPax Pleads With Team Doctors To Clear Cameron Payne To Play After Unexpected 4 Game Winning Streak
My sources (of there are many) are telling me that John Paxson & Gar Forman have been up in arms about the Bulls recent winning streak, Gar Forman reportedly going as far as repeatedly putting his foot underneath Kris Dunn’s feet after jumpshots in practice, with the hopes of a rolled ankle. The actions were met with a shrug from Fred Hoiberg. Paxson has been frantically contacting the Bulls medical staff, in the hopes of coercing a team doctor to allow Cameron Payne, point god of the future, to be cleared to play as soon as humanly possible. The fact that Cam is in a walking boot is no issue, they even brought up using the boot a possible promotion for a home game in the near future.
Some other measures GarPax are taking to resolve their current predicament:
- Larry David has been awarded court side seats for the remainder of the season
- T-shirt cannon operators have been instructed to fire exclusively at active Bulls players, except Justin Holiday
- Fans are being encouraged to use clappers to distract any and all Bulls free throws
- Vinny Del Negro has been brought back as a lifetime special advisor
- Any fan who makes a half court shot is entitled to 20 minutes of game play
- Players have been given film of tanks rolling into battle on loop for 48 hours
It remains to be seen if these solutions will remedy the situation, stay tuned folks.
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