Major League Rugby Is Coming To A City Near You, Probably3 min read
Like the changing of the seasons, the ebbs and flow of the tides, or the Cavs and Warriors playing each other in the Finals, we’ve grown accustomed to seeing things happen over and over again. This time, somehow, is different. The newest iteration of professional rugby is making its debut in just a few short months on April 21, 2018. Known as Major League Rugby, or MLR, this league will feature 7 teams, each playing a 10 game season. The geniuses behind the scenes at MLR made the wise decision of not having almost the entire league based in California (unlike other pro rugby leagues) and have teams scattered across the country that have proven player bases, decent levels of support, and what I think is the most important factor, are in cities where the inhabitants would be eager to watch a full contact sport in football’s absence in the spring. Look back to LMBF for more detailed analysis about each team but they are:
- New Orleans Gold (Or just NOLA Gold, I’m not sure)
I think New Orleans is deceptively good pick. You’ll have the red necks coming out of the bayou to go watch 30 guys roll around in the dirt. You’ll also have an air-boat load of tourists down there in the spring that could easily be tricked into watching a scary, foreign sport other than cockfighting.
2. Austin Elite Rugby
I think Stone Cold Steve Austin’s backyard is fertile ground for a professional rugby club. This is will prove to be the ultimate test of whether or not Austin can actually keep it “weird”. Google what an elephant walk is and get back to me, you wannabe Portland.
3. San Diego Legion
Yes, admittedly the city of San Diego is soft as hell but they have SUCH a strong, rich tradition of rugby there, its absolutely astonishing. Its no coincidence that the Chargers left just as the Legion was coming to town. #BleedRed (I want royalties if that starts trending)
4. Utah Warriors
Based out of Salt Lake, I would lay serious money on the Warriors to win the inaugural season. BYU is just a rugby match winning machine, almost entirely due to the Mormon Polynesians that play there for free/are 30 years old.
5. Glendale Raptors (I guess Glendale is a suburb of Denver?)
I don’t know who the guy at USA Rugby is that is putting professional sports teams in suburbs of major metropolitan areas is a good idea but c’mon. The much-beloved Chicago Fire play in Bridgeview but that doesn’t mean we should give Bridgeview the time of day. Wake up, bro.
6. Houston SaberCats
Huge fan of the spelling here. First of all, miss me with that French “sabre” bullshit. Secondly, say that Cats LOUD AND PROUD but make sure its attached to the Saber part because they’re not a bunch of pussies.
7. Seattle Seawolves
Fantastic name, better logo, loving it. Not sure if “Seawolf” is the Latin name for a killer whale but science be damned. I just hope they don’t win too many games because the Seattle bandwagoners are gonna wear out their shoes from leaving at halftime of 8 football and 5 rugby games a year.
All jokes aside, I am seriously optimistic for this league. They have enough geographic diversity and won’t be entering a virgin market so the sky’s the limit. Stay tuned to LMBF for scores, news, and updates for the single greatest professional rugby league in the world!